tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55500856749576893332024-03-13T07:25:50.674-07:00THE B ROLLB.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.comBlogger677125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-51161859944572968422018-04-09T08:23:00.000-07:002018-10-10T08:24:18.356-07:00A Contraption Party for Wilder's 5th Birthday!<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31352484478/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_2384"><img alt="IMG_2384" height="2250" src="https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1945/31352484478_580831423e_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
I can't believe my baby is 5! I know we parents say that at every age, but it always feels like a shock to see them turn a year older, maybe because their aging feels so slow in the everyday and then suddenly, years have passed. I am not a fan of the whole process, but I am a fan of celebrating them on their special day. Wilder very specifically asked for a contraption birthday, which was surprisingly not as common of a birthday theme, so we got creative with marble runs and marble mazes and car races with some of the activities. Then of course his papa made him a huge, crazy contraption which actually spit out prize balls full of starburst candies. I actually think we'll probably try to have low key birthdays from now on, because we won't ever be able to top the coolness of that contraption.<br />
Wilder, you are so special. I don't know what we would have done without you, but life wouldn't be as sweet, as meaningful, as wonderful without you. Thank you for filling our lives with your special spirit. We love you we love you we love you.<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/45175990752/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_2372"><img alt="IMG_2372" height="1000" src="https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1980/45175990752_f857107dab_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-48742715699795510232018-01-08T08:00:00.000-08:002018-10-10T08:05:30.620-07:00Evienne's Bunny Birthday<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/39544614541/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_1848"><img alt="IMG_1848" height="1000" src="https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4635/39544614541_81b79b8774_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><br />
We were so happy to celebrate our sweet Evienne with a bunny, sparkly, pink party for her third birthday. I took her to pick out a special dress for her party, and of course she chose pink. Pink, sparkly things, pretty things, tutus, princesses....are all near and dear to her heart at the moment. I was the polar opposite as a child and yet I am so, so thrilled to have a daughter who loves all the girly things I now love too. Life with you is fun, Evienne. We love you beyond the moon and back.<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/39544618891/in/photostream/" title="IMG_1842"><img alt="IMG_1842" height="1000" src="https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4729/39544618891_115c16efb6_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-56486065457442175552017-04-12T12:54:00.000-07:002017-04-12T12:54:52.083-07:00A Robot Party for Wilder's 4th Birthday<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/33182973943/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_1728"><img alt="IMG_1728" height="1125" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2931/33182973943_e9b6142c50_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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it completely blows my mind that it was already four years ago that i gave birth to this boy who has continued to steal my heart more and more every day i know him. these past four years have gone by so fast (SO FAST), and yet i can barely remember life before him. he very specifically asked for a robot party, so of course, we had a million ideas running around in our heads of what we could do, and of course may have gotten a little carried away with it all. but it was definitely a lot of fun to create this party for him, and i think he really enjoyed it. :) i had a lot of fun making the robot crayons and robot cake especially, but you should have seen it during the making process! i'm pretty sure j opened the fridge at one point before i had done the fondant and was like ew! what is that!? haha! it was terrible looking as i was trying to figure out how to get the shapes i wanted using an insufficient number of box cakes and the circular cake pans, etc. it was quite the study in geometry for a little bit there. ;) i think the kids enjoyed the robot boxes and tunnel that j built the most. tied with the water guns, of course.<br />
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as always when i'm hosting or just dealing with kids in general, i find it hard to take all the photos i want to take at the same time, but i did get a few. and thanks to our friends who got a few for us as well!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">J made this punch box in lieu of a piñata, and it was so fun! every kid got to punch a circle and inside were some little prizes. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the robot ball shoot</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">robot crayons made with a silicone robot mold. i also did chocolate but forgot to hand those out.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">robot or alien? hahaha</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">evienne's new best friend, woody. she LOVES him and is clearly taking good care to keep him fed.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">punch box!</td></tr>
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/33866054171/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_1623"><img alt="IMG_1623" height="1125" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2910/33866054171_dbe83fd683_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/33866041901/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_1629"><img alt="IMG_1629" height="1125" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2897/33866041901_8271ac1def_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/33554073260/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_0399"><img alt="IMG_0399" height="1000" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2805/33554073260_386a5eaa02_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-11202085093036641022017-01-11T04:00:00.000-08:002017-01-11T04:00:17.420-08:00ten years.<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/32115149641/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_8387"><img alt="IMG_8387" height="1536" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/1/756/32115149641_873d270100_k.jpg" width="2048" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<br />
on the tenth anniversary, we drove to the grave site for the first time in ten years. i didn't remember any of it, except that the drive seemed longer the first time. we found the small paved road that led into the graveyard and parked next to the massive mausoleum that i also didn't remember. maybe it wasn't there ten years ago. we put on our coats and gathered up the white and pink-tipped roses i had picked out. then my brother and i fanned out, he going to the northeast and i to the south, searching for the stone; neither of us remembering exactly where it had been. we searched for what felt like half an hour. i carried the flowers and watched my boots treading over grass and soft earth, forgetting from time to time that i needed to actually read each stone i passed, forgetting i was looking for something, thinking maybe that my feet would somehow lead me there. and as the light started to fail, we met back up in the middle and started to search again, this time together, me walking somewhat angrily, thinking about the irony of what if we couldn't find it and what would i do then with these beautiful flowers for which i had told the florist i didn't need plant food.<br />
<br />
and then as i was stomping around, looking more determinedly this time, i heard my brother call my name softly. "it's here," he said, looking down. he stood near a bank of not very tall cypress trees, and something in me recognized that that is where i had known it was all along. i walked towards him as he knelt down and began to clear the small stone of the grass and weeds which were growing over its edges. i had wondered if ten years was long enough to cover the stone entirely. i wasn't prepared for how i would feel to see it neglected, as if we didn't care, as if we hadn't been there in spirit, daily.<br />
<br />
i knelt down, barely seeing what i was looking at, placing the flowers next to it. and then i stood and after a minute my brother said, "You didn't touch it. You should touch it." and i laughed through swimming eyes because it was so much a thing he would say, a thing i might under other circumstances be irritated by, and i did and didn't understand what he meant and why i didn't want to. my husband has often said that i remind him of a bird and maybe he is right because i do so much better seeing things from the side. but i obliged. <br />
<br />
the marble was smooth, the lettering chiseled deep and sharp and less legible in some places where dirt had gotten in. i read the verse—all there was except a name and date—which i hadn't even known was there. then i learned my brother had chosen it, and i marveled not for the first time at the man he has become. and at the simplicity and perfection of the verse he chose, so much better and truer than any other words would have been.<br />
<br />
we squatted there as night fell and spoke of things we never have before. i told him how happy she would have been about his wife and son. we talked of who spoke a few days later at the funeral. most i didn't remember. i held his hand. and in those moments, the night was strangely peaceful and beautiful, and i lost some of my fear of graveyards. and then a small owl, nearly silent, nearly invisible, landed on the ground a few feet away for but a moment before flying away again and i felt as if we'd been visited, briefly, by some kind of magic. by God. by peace.<br />
<br />
and then it was dark and time to go.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"as made sorrowful yet always rejoicing; as poor yet enriching many; </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
as having nothing and yet possessing all things." </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
— 2 Corinthians 6:10</div>
<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/32169352135/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_8736"><img alt="IMG_8736" height="1000" src="https://c8.staticflickr.com/1/467/32169352135_708ea57353_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/32051334421/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_8709"><img alt="IMG_8709" height="1000" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/1/269/32051334421_1505fffb8d_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-90647787304592935622017-01-10T05:00:00.000-08:002017-01-10T05:00:00.165-08:00evienne's 2nd birthday tea party<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/32066541762/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_8793"><img alt="IMG_8793" height="1000" src="https://c3.staticflickr.com/1/529/32066541762_14cd5a3bef_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<br />
for evienne's second birthday we ended up having a simple family tea party, which turned out to be the best thing, and i think we might have enjoyed it the most of any party we've ever had. or at least i did, and in no small part i credit it to the cake that i made — mimi thorisson's salted butter chocolate cake from her <a href="https://www.amazon.com/French-Country-Cooking-Moments-Vineyards/dp/0553459589">french country cooking cookbook</a>. i made a few adjustments, most notably substituting gluten-free flour, leaving out a third of the called-for sugar and frosting it with a buttercream frosting. it was perfection. or near enough to leave me in raptures about it, anyways. i always feel that the important part of celebrations is the cake, and i was thrilled to finally produce a cake that lived up to my expectations. i'm not sure why, but most birthday cakes I've made have only been ho hum and not worth duplicating. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/French-Country-Cooking-Moments-Vineyards/dp/0553459589">this cake</a>, though, made all my dreams come true.<br />
<br />
tea parties are some of my absolute favorite favorite favorite things in the whole world, and right now the book that evienne most frequently requests is <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Little-Bears-Friend-Read-Book/dp/0064440516">little bear's friend</a>, in which there is a tea party. so of course, i started having dreams of a tea party for evienne's birthday and then trying to make the logistics of a tea party for a two-year-old and her equally small friends work with my vision for it which was getting complicated. so when we originally planned to have friends over, i scrapped the idea of a tea party and just knew there would be cake. at the last minute, basically the day of, when i realized it was just going to be us, i decided to throw together a tea party for her. it was super simple and contained all her favorite things: cake, berries, cheese, crackers, popcorn, cashews and drinking/eating from adult-sized dishes, flowers, and a hat (flower crown) to wear. and the birthday song, which she also regularly requests i sing, usually directed towards everyone in her acquaintance, no matter that they are not actually there to hear it. we forgot her balloons and did nothing except eat and eat some more and open a present for her dolly, named lucy after the doll in the little bear's friend book. she blew out candles (with some help) and ate her cake and was so happy, dancing in her chair. it could not have been more perfect, and even though i am sad to think of my little girl growing up so fast, i was so happy to see her so happy and to celebrate her wonderful birth. this is so sappy, but everything about this celebration made me so happy. probably because this little girl makes me so happy.<br />
<br />
happy birthday evienne! i love you.<br />
<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/32096617941/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8995"><img alt="IMG_8995" height="2250" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/1/776/32096617941_ccea7578ec_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/32096617631/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8998"><img alt="IMG_8998" height="1000" src="https://c8.staticflickr.com/1/313/32096617631_99fdcef103_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-28236813235459833952017-01-01T08:40:00.000-08:002017-01-01T09:52:37.908-08:00a new year<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31206287973/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8691"><img alt="IMG_8691" height="1000" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/1/762/31206287973_ef2c28c427_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<br />
"on ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."<br />
— <i>The Little Prince</i>, Antoine de Saint-Exupery<br />
<br />
<br />
i've always had a thing for beginnings. endings, not so much. i guess that's the innate sprinter in me. so it's hard to look back on the past year, with a new year looming open and brand new before me. i feel full of hopes and dreams and resolutions—or rather, intentions, as i like to call them. it's easy at the beginnings of things to be full of hope and wonder, imagining the mysteries waiting to be discovered, dreaming dreams about all the things yet to be experienced and enjoyed (and eaten and read and written and explored and photographed!;). it's easier to dream than to do.<br />
<br />
it's also hard to write about last year as a toddler wiggles like a twenty-five pound eel in my arms. this morning i was awoken to the sound of my daughter yelling "i did it!"—or else, "got it!"—i can't really remember what i heard while half-asleep. and i couldn't help but smile and wonder how we got to this point where our children get up before us and go play in the den by themselves (and then snuggle back into the covers and revel in this newfound freedom).<br />
<br />
2016 was a year full of change, loss, accidents, new beginnings and learning. we celebrated four birthdays for the first time. i started blogging again. we took a road trip to virginia and started making family movies. we went to the beach (and now evienne says that's where she lives). we took evienne to the ER and lost our first baby, lars. we sold our first house and bought our second. we hosted thanksgiving. i didn't complete nanowrimo, but i did complete my first whole 30. i rediscovered my love of cooking and also, photographing. we built a compost bin and made plans for a spring garden. we fought, we cried, we laughed, we cooked, we made things, we read, and we were ever so grateful for where we are now.<br />
<br />
last year more than ever, i have felt we are on a journey — i and my little family — and i don't always know the way and there is much failing and sometimes we get lost, but still, the journey continues and still, we are learning. one thing i've learned from this past year is my inclination to wander, to dawdle, to observe someone else's path and begin to think it's the one i should be on, to lose my direction. it's easier to get lost in the story that's already written, than to write your own — I mean that both figuratively and literally. it's easier to dream than to do. forging my own path, writing my own story, staying true to the journey i am on, that is the road less traveled, and it requires so much more trust and confidence, because it feels more uncertain. it requires more listening to the heart instead of seeing with the eyes. more pausing to reflect in quiet, less rushing about. more mindfully choosing your destinations, less ending up wherever you wander. more seeking the light, instead of hiding in the dark. more embracing the mess along with the magic, less worrying about what's not going right. more getting out of bed, less stealing those last minute snoozes. more doing, less dreaming.<br />
<br />
2017 is a new year (here we come to the part i like), and i am looking forward to the journey we will be on this year. i don't really know what it will hold. i will still be a stay-at-home mom. i will still not have any daylight hours with arms free (except possibly for a few stolen minutes in the morning;). i will still make dinner every night (or mostly every night). i will still be fumbling my way through this motherhood and personhood and adulthood thing. i will still struggle to write. i will still drink too much tea. i will still make mistakes. i will still be learning.<br />
<br />
here's to the wild, wonderful, messy, magical journey. here's to dreaming <b><i>and</i></b> doing.<br />
<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31206287763/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_8699"><img alt="IMG_8699" height="1000" src="https://c4.staticflickr.com/1/302/31206287763_53143baa41_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31977911006/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_8631"><img alt="IMG_8631" height="1000" src="https://c7.staticflickr.com/1/348/31977911006_314532994d_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-57700539065999722016-12-30T11:43:00.001-08:002016-12-30T11:43:46.265-08:00christmas 2016<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31126007054/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8476"><img alt="IMG_8476" height="2250" src="https://c7.staticflickr.com/1/756/31126007054_8f18cd41c7_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<div>
we had a low-key, stay-home kind of winter holiday this year. and there were moments (mainly due to being on whole30) that were a bit tense and less than idyllic, but overall, we enjoyed spending time as a family, watching the kids faces as they woke up and beheld the chalkboard wall we painted and teepee we set up for them and opened their presents (hats and books), grilling and watching christmas movies as a family (love that we finally had movies to watch that were kid appropriate!), making gingerbread houses and rationing the sugar intake (that evie is a quick one! i have never seen a kid so quick to shove unknown things in their mouth...), wearing matching jammies and making messes. it was pretty wonderful and i can't wait to do it again next year. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31126004024/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8498"><img alt="IMG_8498" height="2250" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/634/31126004024_c9a3eb8012_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-69952601568682578722016-12-22T05:00:00.000-08:002016-12-22T05:00:02.816-08:00home.<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/30948252594/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_8323"><img alt="IMG_8323" height="1000" src="https://c3.staticflickr.com/1/477/30948252594_9b50364761_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
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In such a night, when every louder wind</div>
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Is to its distant cavern safe confined;</div>
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And only gentle Zephyr fans his wings,</div>
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And lonely Philomela, still waking, sings;</div>
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Or from some tree, famed for the owl's delight,</div>
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She, hollowing clear, directs the wanderer right:</div>
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In such a night, when passing clouds give place,</div>
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Or thinly veil the heav'ns' mysterious face;</div>
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When in some river, overhung with green,</div>
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The waving moon and trembling leaves are seen;</div>
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When freshened grass now bears itself upright,</div>
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And makes cool banks to pleasing rest invite,</div>
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Whence springs the woodbine, and the bramble-rose,</div>
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And where the sleepy cowslip sheltered grows;</div>
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Whilst now a paler hue the foxglove takes,</div>
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Yet checkers still with red the dusky brakes</div>
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When scatter'd glow-worms, but in twilight fine,</div>
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Shew trivial beauties, watch their hour to shine;</div>
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Whilst Salisbury stands the test of every light,</div>
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In perfect charms, and perfect virtue bright:</div>
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When odors, which declined repelling day,</div>
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Through temperate air uninterrupted stray;</div>
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When darkened groves their softest shadows wear,</div>
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And falling waters we distinctly hear;</div>
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When through the gloom more venerable shows</div>
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Some ancient fabric, awful in repose,</div>
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While sunburnt hills their swarthy looks conceal,</div>
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And swelling haycocks thicken up the vale:</div>
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When the loosed horse now, as his pasture leads,</div>
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Comes slowly grazing through th' adjoining meads,</div>
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Whose stealing pace, and lengthened shade we fear,</div>
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Till torn-up forage in his teeth we hear:</div>
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When nibbling sheep at large pursue their food,</div>
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And unmolested kine rechew the cud;</div>
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When curlews cry beneath the village walls,</div>
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And to her straggling brood the partridge calls;</div>
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Their short-lived jubilee the creatures keep,</div>
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Which but endures, whilst tyrant man does sleep;</div>
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When a sedate content the spirit feels,</div>
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And no fierce light disturbs, whilst it reveals;</div>
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But silent musings urge the mind to seek</div>
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Something, too high for syllables to speak;</div>
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Till the free soul to a composedness charmed,</div>
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Finding the elements of rage disarmed,</div>
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O'er all below a solemn quiet grown,</div>
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Joys in th' inferior world, and thinks it like her own:</div>
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In such a night let me abroad remain,</div>
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Till morning breaks, and all's confused again;</div>
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Our cares, our toils, our clamors are renewed,</div>
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Or pleasures, seldom reached, again pursued.</div>
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— "A Nocturnal Reverie"<i>, </i>Anne Finch, Countess of Winchilsea</div>
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on sundays, i go to costco and load up my cart the way i used to watch moms do before i was a mom—eyes wide, amazed at the amount they put in their cart. if i bring a little, we hit up the sample stations, which almost serves as both lunch and entertainment, thank you costco. then i bring it all home in the back of our crv and unload it armful by armful into the house, usually to the music of my daughter saying "mommy! mommy! mommy!" as she circles my legs, and to the sight of my little boy running around in costume as an alien or a big mean emperor or a pirate, and to my husband telling me about his next project. and then i restock our bigger fridge with all the staples. the drawers are packed tight with produce and meat, cheese, eggs, milk, bread: all those ridiculously commonplace things that i've longed to always be in need of. and in between scooping up a snuggly little girl and cramming vegetables into a bin and clearing away dirty dishes and going to change a diaper, i am visited with joy. it is so faint, so easy to miss as i am hurriedly going through the motions of these chores, my stomach (and everyone else's) grumbling, nap times looming and frozen things defrosting on the counter. so small this joy can seem. what does a full fridge really mean—other than plenty and happy tummies, which i do not undervalue at all? what is the combination of these things i am surrounded with—have in fact been doing for 3.5 years now—that is now causing my heart to alight? as if i had just now stepped into this fairytale and were experiencing it for the first time?<br />
<br />
for as long as i can remember one of my dearest dreams has been for consistency, to feel settled, to feel kinship and belonging.<br />
<br />
i've longed for schedule, for fundamentals, for uniformity, for security, for comfort, for belonging.{i've longed too for fairytale castles, knights in shining armor (or nicely pressed shirts;), twinkle-lit gardens and balls.} but only recently am i suddenly cognizant of what it is i have been craving:<br />
<br />
it is daily rituals that are more than habits, that are made to savor and slow time down—like a cup of hot tea early in the morning when the steam from the cup is the only thing moving.<br />
it is the freedom of not having to constantly question if i am loved, if i am able to love, if my life is worth it, if i am wasting it, if i am doing what i'm supposed to be doing.<br />
it is the ability to autopilot the weekly chores and meals to make and bills to pay.<br />
it is a faith that things will work out and believing in what doesn't *look* worked out because of my Rock within.<br />
it is joy.<br />
it is a narrative of living life. actually living it, not just ambien-sleep-walking it. a narrative of taking joy in the simple mundane tasks of my role as mama. a narrative of putting vegetables into my refrigerator bins, as if they were pockets in my heart, full of love for my people. a narrative of home.<br />
<br />
a few weekends ago we unconsciously coordinated a sleep-in day for each of us and then labored respectively over meals and compost bins while our littles ran around amusing each other and us. and it all began to hit home (to be puny) — this is it.<br />
<br />
and then last week, we collapsed our bed frame and put our mattress on the floor and that might sound like a non-sequitur, but to me it signifies something i've never fully experienced before — an allowance to settle in. to be comfortable. to find joy in our surroundings. to acknowledge the fact of our existence in this life. an allowance that probably only i withheld and could give myself.<br />
<br />
it has been a process for me to come out of the dark, hidden highways within and allow myself the sunlight—to throw out a bed frame that isn't working, even if we don't have the money to buy a new one yet. to both move in to my life and to offload the baggage i've carried around as if my real life is somewhere else out there. i'm simultaneously someone who will throw out sentimental things without a second thought and yet a hoarder of extra luggage—a mirror into my inner workings, i am starting to think.<br />
<br />
it comes from a distrust of becoming comfortable, of taking any pleasure in life. and deeper, it signifies a hesitancy to make this life mine. to cease to walk the no-man's-land between life and living death. to move more firmly into my own life. not the life i dreamed, not the life i would have imagined, not the life i think i'd like to have. but this life. this place. this family. this narrative. this home.<br />
<br />
our three and a half years in our first and previous house was the longest i'd lived somewhere in 19 years. growing up, my longest span of residence in one place was seven years in a rented house with no proper neighbors or neighborhoods. it was a wonderful but also strange sort of belonging. from the age of 14, i lived in 19 places, never for more than two years and most for shorter than a year, until we bought our last house. so i guess you could say, i have been accustomed to the nomad life. and through a somewhat parallel psychological journey, my heart—a nomad's heart: only carrying with me what is essential for survival, not for pleasure, not for comfort, not for joy.<br />
<br />
don't mistake me, my childhood was happy, my mother was the most perfect being this world has ever encountered, and my friends and family are the most special, loving and lovely—this i have not been without. and yet, there has ever been something missing: a true sense of belonging. a sense that i believe has everything to do with home.<br />
<br />
last year was the first time i had been in a place long enough to notice that the hornets were once again building a nest in the wreath i hung on the door the first winter and never took off. long enough to notice that the second to the last bottom stair creaked a little. long enough to feel that i was always buying new lightbulbs. that seems like such a simple thing to say but in actuality, it is an indicator of what my life has been like since i was sixteen: tumultuous. inside and out.<br />
<br />
and this is the first time in 19 years that inwardly and outwardly, i've had a measure of calm, of peace, of joy even, inside and out. it is making me want to slow down and settle in. be aware of the moments. stop and smell the figurative (and literal) roses.<br />
<br />
but, is it just the right floor plan? is it the perfectly flat and waiting to be gardened backyard? is it bountiful sunlight? most of the houses i've lived in didn't have a great (or any) backyard or much natural light or decoration, for that matter. and yet, in those 19 residences, i felt at home in one or two. sure, sunlight, space, feng shui, those things matter. but to me, home is not an actual place. home is the proximity to a sense of family. maybe not even actual family. but the sense of belonging. the <i>sense</i> of family, wrapped in a life.<br />
<br />
and maybe it's hard to understand, but it's been a difficult part of my life finding that even though your people are your family, sometimes they aren't. sometimes, you feel like you are inhabiting a stranger's life and nothing seems to fit. it has been a long time of feeling uncomfortable in these shoes, of wishing i could open the door to my real life. of chores and errands and morning coffees that never become treasured rituals. of the strangled feeling that not only am i doing everything wrong, but maybe it's me that is wrong. of the burden of a to-do list that feels as if it blocks the sunlight. of feeling the earth tremble beneath my feet. of discomfort. of feeling an alien in my own life.<br />
<br />
it seems so appropriate to be writing of this in winter, as the weather is changing and the nights are getting longer. i find i am starting to light more candles. to want to collect and display the strange little backyard treasures that my babies bring me. to see the beauty in a closet just for shoes. to find uncommon joy in a big pot of bone broth on the stove. to appreciate the humor in life. to treasure the moments covered in flour and crayon and dirt. to be strengthened by my reading of <a href="http://biblesforamerica.org/free-bible/">this book</a> and <a href="http://www.ministrybooks.org/books.cfm?id=1BF4C1">this book</a>. to be moved by poems like the one above. and to look forward to days spent at home en famille.<br />
<br />
that is what makes the sight of my own bed on the floor the most precious sight. why i soak in my afternoon cup of tea in the sunlight as if it were a work of art. why i am comparing my refrigerator to the compartments of my heart (among other mixed metaphors). why i'm waxing poetic about seemingly everything and nothing at all. it isn't this house, this space, these windows or floors or trees. not this, this house, though yes, that too (confusing i know). but this, this life i am finally living, finally moving in to.<br />
<br />
this family. these days. these smiles. these cups of tea and dried orange garlands. this rearranging of my furniture (and heart), letting go the bad, letting in the good, acknowledging that sometimes night brings in the light, in a way that the day cannot.<br />
<br />
this is home.B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-23717313059789713942016-12-01T05:00:00.000-08:002016-12-01T05:00:13.875-08:00grey, blustery mornings at fernbank <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31227457101/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8199"><img alt="IMG_8199" height="1000" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/6/5524/31227457101_e4c04577a3_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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we have been waiting to renew our membership until fernbank had opened their new outdoor space, and when we went on monday, i was so happy we decided to renew. the outdoor space is really cool. they have a little kids playground that resembles nature instead of the usual brightly colored plastics, and a long walking trail. we didn't do most of the trail, but i'm excited to go back and see where it leads. evienne in particular had so much fun on this trip. a museum where you're allowed to touch (and sometimes climb) all the things! imagine! she was basically in heaven, as usual. it was such a perfect day for this trip. i have to admit i'm partial to grey, blustery days. there is just the feeling of magic in the air to me, so i have been so happy all week. if only this grey, 70s weather could just last forever! wilder also had a lot of fun exploring everything, but he remembered our last trip to fernbank when they had a music exhibit (which was temporary) and kept asking to go back to it. that boy is all about the music, just like his papa. :)<br />
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some weeks in motherland are really hard, but this is one of those weeks that i wish could just last forever, and i am now convinced that we need to start every week with a field trip. it set a tone for this week at least, that's carrying over. i have no home school theme for this week. we are just playing and exploring and enjoying the weather and the outside as much as we can. i think it's good sometimes to just play it by ear, let go of expectation (and the stress of planning/executing), and see where the week takes us. so far, we've read more books that normal, played for long stretches outside, discovered fernbank, rediscovered play dough, and done a lot of drawing/painting. we still need to get in the kitchen and since j and i started whole30 this week, maybe i'll do a healthy cookie kind of thing, which obviously i wont be able to enjoy, but it will make me feel better feeding them sugar. ;)<br />
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also, i've really noticed this week that evienne is saying everything, complete sentences and all. she is like full on toddler now, even though i am subconsciously not admitting it. her tiny little voice makes my heart melt into my socks. especially now that she can say "hold me." i dare you to deny her anything;)<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31342412545/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8144"><img alt="IMG_8144" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5557/31342412545_baccb124a7_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/31342413515/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8143"><img alt="IMG_8143" height="1000" src="https://c4.staticflickr.com/6/5626/31342413515_f3e2d2e82b_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-2352349323073978912016-11-16T05:00:00.000-08:002016-11-16T05:00:02.852-08:00one for the birds<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/30917321701/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8104"><img alt="IMG_8104" height="1500" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/6/5635/30917321701_edebfe747c_o.jpg" width="1000" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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when we moved into our new house one of the things i noticed right away was how many birds (and squirrels) there were in our backyard every morning. so after two weeks of an "autumn" theme in our home-forest-pre-school, we decided to do a bird exploration this week. so far we have not done much other than buy a bird feeder and make bird food. aaaaannnnndddd it turns out that none of the birds wanted the bird food we put out. but evie did! i was laughing so hard when i was stringing up the little bird food shapes that we made because she was reaching for them on her tip-toes as i was doing it, like it was a piñata. i love this age and how evienne is not at all put off by what people around her think about what she's doing. if she wants something, she's going for it! so, i think i ended up feeding my children and the squirrels more with this bird food (j was entirely skeptical about my homemade approach and i guess he was right on this one). but! it was fun to make and a good morning's project, so to me: success!<br />
it's not always easy to do this type of project with kids because they are invariably falling off the chairs at the counter or trying to climb ON the counter and knocking over the ingredients or trying to eat the ingredients. evienne did NOT understand or appreciate that we weren't making a treat for her to eat, haha. but i'm willing to put up with some mess and chaos to try to bring my kids more into the kitchen and awaken their curiosity and wonder. i remember as a kid being so fascinated with cooking, and was beyond thrilled on the day that i decided and succeeded in making a veggie soup all by myself. and i was going to do an art project of painting the bird house with the kids before nixing that idea, so compared to that potential mess, this was nothing! ;)<br />
other things on our agenda this week are picking up all the bird books i've requested from our library and maybe visiting a nature center to see if we can spot any birds we're reading about. and we'll probably pull out our crayons and markers to try drawing some bird pictures. mama is not so good in the drawing department, so that should be worth a few laughs. ;)<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/30917321361/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8118"><img alt="IMG_8118" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5580/30917321361_28d251d0c9_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/30917321221/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8130"><img alt="IMG_8130" height="1000" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/6/5581/30917321221_dca8313c0d_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/22826938768/in/photostream/" title="IMG_8137"><img alt="IMG_8137" height="1000" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/6/5565/22826938768_1b2e6f1862_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-75812918045203911432016-11-15T05:00:00.000-08:002016-11-15T06:38:53.437-08:00my work (of art)<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/30951613936/in/photostream/" title="IMG_0437"><img alt="IMG_0437" height="2049" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/6/5680/30951613936_878dc25867_o.jpg" width="1537" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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i have not been much of an outside person for most of my life. as a kid, absolutely—i lived outdoors all day long, all summer long. we didn't have a tv for most of my childhood (or rather, we did but it was approximately five inches and the only tv i remember watching on it was the 1988 election), but what we did have is imagination and open spaces. we had those in spades. and i cannot imagine a better childhood than one in which you have the freedom and ability to run around outside, all day long. that is the childhood i have been longing to give my own children. but after childhood, i went to high school, and i got a job at starbucks. then i went to college and majored in journalism, and nowhere in there did i spend a significant amount of time outside. and at some point, i lost my love for being outside, for exploring, for breathing in fresh air. it is the certainty, necessity, and tragedy of growing up that you lose the impetus to imagine and play pretend as you once did.<br />
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growing up involves all kinds of heartache, regret, struggle, delight and conflict. we all want to live our best lives. we all have these ideals, these halcyon-fueled dreams about what life we should be living. or at least, i do. in my mind, i'm writing every day. running every day. calm, collected. always prepared for dinner guests. composting for our garden. cooking from my bon appetit. i'm also possibly very successful in some sort of career other than mothering.<br />
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mothering, it turns out, is so very hard. no one moment is hard. waking up in the middle of the night to hold a crying baby isn't hard. taking your kids to the grocery store or park or playdate isn't hard. wiping up messes and bums and runny noses isn't hard. meticulously planning a nutritious, wholesome, child-friendly meal isn't hard. what's hard is the day after day after day (and night)-ness of it. when you go to a job 40 hours a week, there is always some relief in the evenings and on the weekends of getting to walk away from that part of your life and having a change of scene. even if you love it, or especially if you don't love it, the break is vital. and mothering has no such breaks. i would never say i need a break from mothering. but i have often felt that i need a change of scene. a break from the same old tasks done morning till night.<br />
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about every year or so, i go on this search for what i should really be doing with my life. what is my metier? is it architecture after all? or maybe interior design? i thought for awhile (before i realized the amount of school involved) i would like a degree in art/antique restoration. should i have done more with my french? should i have stuck with fashion design? is there something in business i'd be good at? will i ever actually write a novel? what could i possibly be doing other than this??? i am starting to realize it's just part of my dna, and it's fun to think of all the different ways my life could be going.<br />
if i had it to do all over again, i often think i would choose a completely different area of expertise from what i've ended up with. but the truth is, i am doing what i've always wanted to do — building a family, a home. and mothering.<br />
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so instead of spending all my time lamenting what could be, i've been slowly (re)awakening to the idea that what i'm doing here is itself a priceless work.<br />
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it isn't that my kids are too needy or too active or too accident-prone. it isn't that i hate folding laundry and doing dishes and planning menus. it isn't that i would rather be sitting in meetings and going out to lunch and having clients and making money — although, sure, those all sound pretty great some days. it's just that i've lost sight of the fact that this is what i wanted all along. and that there is really nothing i would rather be doing with these years of my life, no matter how much i might think it on the 1,316th day of sticky fingers and twinkle, twinkle, little star and interrupted naptimes.<br />
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i love the idea of my kids growing up simply. fewer screens. more fresh air. fewer artificial ingredients. more real foods. fewer toys. more imagination. i really believe that fresh air, dirt, sunshine, open spaces and imagination are the life blood of childhood. i believe they are vital to all human beings, but even more potently so for children. i also believe in the dusty shelves full of books and muted, sacred sounds of libraries. i believe in words, in games, in exploration, in learning, and in the human connection. i believe these things constitute the art of childhood.<br />
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and it is to this work of art that i am (re)dedicating myself to.<br />
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so, i am embarking on a homeschool preschool type of thing, and i've been doing research into forest schooling. i'm not interested in strict schedules or curriculum or lots of activities. but i am interested in focused explorations. in partially guided discovery and learning. in education through nature and in the kitchen and through books and songs and art. we won't be doing any kind of alphabet emphasis, because if you know my first-born at all, you know he has been obsessed with the alphabet since he was 18 months and he really doesn't need any more support or encouragement in that area. plus, it's kinda boring. we will, though, be checking out and reading lots of library books (my favorite thing!). we will also be exploring all our local outdoor areas and learning all about the physical universe. i love the idea one of my friends shared with me that: "preschoolers mostly need to be active and to be loved. they will learn automatically and without much effort." i'm quoting her because i just love those words so much. they ring so true with our family experience and with what i am aiming for with this—love and freedom, wonder and adventure, encouragement and imagination. and all the outside time we can get.<br />
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so, wish us luck! and if you have any tips or local resources for forest schooling, send them our way!B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-274040668079910352016-11-01T06:00:00.000-07:002016-11-01T06:00:00.223-07:00at the pumpkin patch <a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/30063509094/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_8008"><img alt="IMG_8008" height="999" src="https://c7.staticflickr.com/6/5520/30063509094_322a63fafc_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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we got to the pumpkin patch at the very end of the season this year, going back to the pumpkin patch we found two years ago. it was evienne's first time doing any sort of activity like this, and if you don't know evienne, i just have to say this is this girl's element. apart from the fact that we asked her to give the goat the goat food which she wanted to eat and that i wouldn't let her climb into the pens with the animals or pull all the flowers off the bushes, she was in heaven. and i just kept thinking about how the last time we went, evienne was still in my tummy (we didn't even know she was a girl yet!) and wilder kept saying o-na-see-goat in the car because papa had woken him up that morning to tell him we were going to go see goats at a farm, and how he was yelling goat! when we saw the goats... i'm repeating myself again, but it's impossibly crazy to me how fast the time is going. it feels like just yesterday we were doing this with wilder (although in my memory somehow i've forgotten that he wasn't always as verbal as he is now). sometimes i can't believe that i have two kids running around, much less that evie will soon be talking as well as wilder is now. i especially can't believe that evienne is already the age wilder was when we had her. i mean how do you even cope with watching your babies grow so quickly?<br />
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also, i can't believe it's been four months since i posted anything! on the one hand, life has been so full (from visits to the er with evienne to potty training to losing the best dog in the world to selling our house and moving) to the point that i just didn't have the time and energy to even take pictures, let alone blog. and on the other hand, i needed the break to just be. i can't believe so much time has already passed, though. it's a little strange to me that i missed four months of photos of my babies and writing down our memories, but also, i think we are at a stage where we just can't be behind a camera or in front of a computer as much. and i'm okay with that. i'm just going to document and record our little lives as much as i can for as long as i can.<br />
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and i just want to say: thank you. thank you to you all who have inquired about me during this unintended yet conscious break from social media. the care and concern means so much more to me than you will know, and i appreciate every word sent my direction. thank you for being here. for caring. for laughing and weeping and praying with me. just, thank you.<br />
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<br />B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-58136149096430017832016-06-27T05:00:00.000-07:002016-06-27T05:00:43.630-07:00strawberry fields {a micro vlog}<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CUFl3mXFnnM" width="560"></iframe><br />
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about a month ago we went strawberry picking at <a href="http://www.washingtonfarms.net/">washington farms</a> in watkinsville, georgia. i know i already blogged photos from our morning there, but we finally got around to making a little movie of it, too! it's pretty low-key and slow-paced, but i somehow really like it. i think j think it needs more action and excitement, but i'm ok with the simplicity of it. hope you enjoy! :)B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-51474606803168490622016-06-24T05:00:00.000-07:002016-06-24T05:00:05.179-07:00ramen date night {a mini film}<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ykn68KUvrGU" width="560"></iframe><br />
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hope no one minds two videos back to back but we are finally getting somewhat caught up on our back log of video! a few weeks ago j and i went on a date to <a href="http://www.makanatl.com/#top-page">makan</a> in decatur to have ramen! we both love ramen and have made doctored-up grocery-store ramen (add an egg, some veggies and some chicken if you need extra protein!) ever since we got married. as mentioned online, the ambience at makan was very calm, relaxed and perfect for date nights. i can't remember the name of the drink i had but i think it was a lychee-flavored rice wine liqueor? something like that. so interesting! after dinner we walked around old town decatur square (our go-to date night area) and got coffee and some frozen yogurt. i'm not sure why but for some reason j, who is highly lactose intolerant, can tolerate the frozen yogurt at <a href="http://www.theyogurttap.com/">the yogurt tap</a> there. it is also THE best frozen yogurt i've ever tried. especially the strawberry and chocolate flavors. yummmmm.<br />
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we did something different with this video and instead of actually shooting video, we shot a ton of burst shots and stitched them together to make a video. it was fun, hope you enjoy! :)B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-2403692883745946162016-06-23T05:00:00.000-07:002016-06-23T05:00:17.667-07:00beach vacation {a film}<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7xlLLWXOBtY" width="560"></iframe><br />
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can you believe we are finally sharing our beach vacation video?? <i>finally</i>, right?! haha. well this one was a labor of love, and i hope it shows. these things take a lot of time! as always we had fun shooting the footage, and i think we may have even learned that there is such a thing as overdoing it on the shooting. sometimes there was so much pressure to take video of everything that we had to stop ourselves and remind each other to relax and enjoy our VACATION. haha. sometimes being creative means you can't take as many breaks, but i think having this video to look back on it all definitely makes it worth it! what a fun vacation, can't wait to do it again!<br />
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enjoy!<br />
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xxB.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-23272827843273264562016-06-22T05:00:00.000-07:002016-06-22T05:00:15.945-07:00"me" time<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27822460035/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_7476_web"><img alt="IMG_7476_web" height="2250" src="https://c4.staticflickr.com/8/7112/27822460035_1734fa3576_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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it feels almost silly to even talk about, this "me" time that i constantly hear other mothers talking about, and if i weren't a mother i'm not sure i would really understand how important this time is. i think i see mothers as these all-powerful, all-able, completely unflappable energizer bunnies, and that's where the problem is. because in believing that, i'm basically setting the daily stage for my own downfall, since as all the more sane people out there probably realize (and in the words of miss elizabeth bennett), "i never saw such a woman." <br />
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for instance, if you were around a few other adults for 12+ hours a day/7 days a week, it would be totally exhausting and you would surely need a recharge at some point. but if those adults were somehow light (and weird;) enough to climb all over you, incapable of using inside voices, had inexplicably bad coordination/notions of danger, and felt comfortable asking you approximately 10,000 questions a day...? you would definitely need some "me" time.<br />
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with wilder, i was mostly able to recharge during his nap times. but ever since i added another to the mix, and even more especially since wilder stopped napping (and staying in his own room at night) about six months ago, it's been harder to find quiet time to myself.<br />
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lately it's becoming more and more clear that the only way to do this is to wake up before the kids. ha! but until that actually becomes a reality, i usually just try to get in a few minutes during evie's nap time and after they are both snug in their beds at night.<br />
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during those times my favorite ways to spend "me" time are:<br />
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1. words on paper. whether it's a simple little list of what's going on in my head or progress on a more creative endeavor, there is nothing more recharging than curling up in a comfy chair and writing something (preferably with a cup of coffee in hand). for me at least, pen and paper are my gold.<br />
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2. reading. all. the. books. i almost always have a long list of books i am working on and there is never enough time for them all! so sad.<br />
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3. exercise. this hasn't been a big one in a long time, mainly for the sad excuse that it is not very convenient or easy in our current circumstances. sob, i know.<br />
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4. bubble baths. this happens so, so rarely, because the only tub is in the kids bathroom. like all the other women in the world, i dream of one day owning a claw-foot tub. ;)<br />
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5. opening the Bible, early in the morning. this is such a big one for spiritual and psychological awakening and recharging. i wish i could say it's my daily practice, but for now, it's a daily work in progress.<br />
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<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-71713520102271511752016-06-21T11:27:00.000-07:002016-06-21T11:27:23.658-07:00on the first day of summer<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27719703582/in/photostream/" title="IMG_7458_web"><img alt="IMG_7458_web" height="2250" src="https://c7.staticflickr.com/8/7492/27719703582_cd03d726db_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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on the first day of summer, we....stayed home and played with markers. and while i have a thousand not-so-secret wishes and dreams about summer which involve pools and watermelon and sunshine and green grass under bare feet and while i am daily mourning the current loss of those dreams due to yellow jacket nests and snakes and such, it is summer! and summer is a good time to be happy and carefree and thankful for what you've got.<br />
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i've been quiet on this blog for a few weeks, and i've been trying to figure out what exact type of malaise i've been stricken with. i almost wish i were pregnant, because that at least would explain the lack of motivation and energy that has had me lying so low, but no, that's not it. i think maybe i've just been needing to take a break. to have some quiet days where we do nothing big and exciting. where the camera stays in its bag and i step away from all the screens. where the biggest news of the day is my baking cookies or finding a dvd of french language cartoons at the library.<br />
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i mentioned on instagram but never blogged about how evie got second degree burns from a cup of hot tea a few weeks ago. we've been taking good care of her, and she'll hopefully heal scarlessly, but i think it caused us all to feel a little emotionally fragile and in need of slow, quiet days. time to heal and slow down and hibernate a little. i actually like slow, quiet days. and while i would love our slow, quiet days to involve more backyard-type play, we are all happy, healthy and sound, and that's what matters.<br />
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so! come at us summer! we are ready for all the slow, quiet, wonderfully simple days you will bring. evie in particular has nothing against rainbow-markered days. ;)<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27719705482/in/photostream/" title="IMG_7426_web"><img alt="IMG_7426_web" height="1000" src="https://c3.staticflickr.com/8/7449/27719705482_aedae4344d_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-10838353829742017222016-06-13T05:00:00.000-07:002016-06-13T05:00:01.514-07:00wilderisms.<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27532741316/in/photostream/" title="IMG_6054_web"><img alt="IMG_6054_web" height="1000" src="https://c5.staticflickr.com/8/7304/27532741316_3818111bbb_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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wilder is becoming SUCH a big boy. i am so loathe to let his babyhood go, but i also love all the adorable things coming out of his mouth these days:<br />
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"...Ti, a drink with jam and bread! That will bring a <i>snack</i> to Do-oh-oh-oh." (singing Do-Re-Mi)<br />
"Hawk-a-marine" (aquamarine)<br />
"Wow, it's nighttime out here. I wonder how far it will be night." (As he's tiptoeing down the driveway.)<br />
"Evie is on the table. I can't believe it." (me: "Me neither.") "Who can believe it?"<br />
"C-A-T-E-R-P-I-L-L-A-R-S. Caterpillars. Caterpil-LARS!" (spelling out caterpillars, realizing they are kin to Lars, haha!;)<br />
"She tried to push the chair. It was not too perfect." (about evie, as usual;)<br />
"I want to ride a motorcycle." (um no. never.)<br />
"Papa, i'm three years old, and this is my friend Big Teddy, and he's three, too."<br />
"Mommy, I changed my mind."<br />
"Papa-the-hut."<br />
(THUMP) (me: "Are you getting on Evie?") "No, Evie is just having some trouble."<br />
"I'm going to work! Bye Mommy!" (coming back to me) "I'm just joking! I'm not going to leave you!"<br />
"We are in a band." (me: "What's the name of your band?") "Our name is Jack and Jill. I'm Jack and Evie is Jill. And you're Princess Leia."<br />
(me: "Night, night Jack.") "No, I've been Jack. Now I'm Wilder."<br />
"I want someone to play with me!" (me: "Evie can play with you.") "No! I want a person like a mommy with black hair to play with me!"<br />
"Are you (fill in the blank), Evie, yes or no?" (Evie: (invariably) "no.") <---- this makes us all die laughing, every time.<br />
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<br />B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-42674012516225497902016-06-10T04:20:00.000-07:002016-06-10T04:20:23.508-07:00weekly portraits<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/26958104593/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_6220_web"><img alt="IMG_6220_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7418/26958104593_1b9233853f_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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this time right now with the kiddos has been good. we've been taking it slow, and even though our schedule of morning out, lunch at home, nap, playtime, dinner, bath, bed has pretty much stayed the same, it has felt a little less hectic, even on those couple of days where evie wouldn't stop pulling the kitchen gate down and i had to basically camp out in the opening to play with wilder and keep her from falling down the stairs, ha! (we have since replaced the gate and now i can actually cook without worrying about evie getting into mischief;) i have been consciously ignoring my phone more often and spending more face time (the real kind of face time) with my babies. wilder's imagination is exploding, and all he asks for all day is for someone to play with him, so i've been on the floor with him a lot and loving it. it makes us both happier and more content and connected when we ignore the anxious feeling to "get something done" and focus on the important work in front of us. evie really likes trying to play too, and it is so cute to watch her intently observe and try to copy her brother all day long. especially because i know she doesn't really know why we're pretending to eat blocks (cake! made with falafel and stew and blueberries and cream and tomatoes and eggs!;), or making our stuffed animals move while we talk in funny voices, or using his stethoscope to give teddy a checkup.<br />
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wilder:<br />
tries to point out "nursery and the 3-yr-olds room" when we are driving around, even though we may not be anywhere near church. i think he is on the lookout because he doesn't like going, haha!<br />
is still obsessed with "the funny bird" and "the broken bird" (sculptures in the yard of one of the houses near us) and has to be prepped far in advance if we are not going to be able to drive by and look at them on our way home. usually we do though.<br />
is hyper aware of the camera, which then translates to this look on his face that makes it seem like he's upset or in a bad mood, but he's really not! just sensitive to what's going on around him.<br />
is OBSESSED with this Melissa&Doug puzzle that we recently pulled down from the closet that is basically an analog form of Endless Alphabet (which he is only allowed to play on special occasions). all day long he asks how to spell something, and then goes and spells it out with the little wooden letters after i tell him. he has always been obsessed with the alphabet, so this is just the next natural progression. i love this kind of activity because it doesn't require me to leap about the room, haha.<br />
is the most caring, protective older brother (sometimes;) and always comes in to pat and kiss evie on the head when i'm giving her a bottle before nap or bedtime.<br />
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evie:<br />
acts like she isn't still healing from the second degree burns she got last week and is just as much of a wild woman as before! (i.e., a constant heart attack)<br />
is going through a stronger separation anxiety than wilder did at this age, which i never though she would because she seems so much more independent in some ways.<br />
is starting to want to be read to! which i find SO thrilling, of course.<br />
likes to point at things and say "da-da" which ppl usually think means "daddy," but really she's just asking me to name it.<br />
was devastated when we were playing a pretend game about being at someone else's house and i unthinkingly asked if she wanted to go outside and play on their rollercoaster (which she had just played on), and then i wouldn't let her go outside, because we were at home. :(<br />
doesn't love to have her teeth brushed but is very enthusiastic about spitting into the sink just like wilder does, haha!!<br />
still walks on her tiptoes all day long. it is completely hilariously adorable.<br />
this stage with her is my absolute, hand's down favorite. i cannot get enough.<br />
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<br />B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-82012920636589275432016-06-09T11:14:00.003-07:002016-06-09T11:24:01.988-07:008 years married<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27491786746/in/dateposted/" title="10x8"><img alt="10x8" height="1280" src="https://c3.staticflickr.com/8/7703/27491786746_4456647ca4_h.jpg" width="1600" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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<br />
8 years.<br />
<br />
8 years of figuring out what to eat for dinner.<br />
8 years of leaving all the cabinets and doors open.<br />
8 years of rushing at the last minute to put the trash out for the garbage truck.<br />
8 years of going to bed at different times.<br />
8 years of binge-watching sci-fi tv, but also: the darling buds of may, arrested development, parks&rec, and parenthood.<br />
8 years of "what was your favorite part" after everything we do.<br />
8 years of mexican food and then bemoaning the lack of tacos in georgia.<br />
8 years of constantly renewed attempts to work out.<br />
8 years of a cabinet full of deodorant and no cologne.<br />
8 years of the same (mostly unused) perfume.<br />
8 years of photo storage. <br />
8 years of playing the who will wash the dishes game (i've officially lost...or won? depending on how you look at it?).<br />
8 years of me telling him to turn the music down.<br />
8 years of him not being able to hear me. (there's a correlation in there, i'm sure of it.;)<br />
8 years of birthday, anniversary, and more recently, mother's day and father's day, expectations.<br />
8 years of sharing an umbrella. and comb. and shampoo. and laundry hamper.<br />
8 years of bad haircuts, of accompanying each other to family functions, of job successes and frustrations, of abandoned projects, of bins of useless old cell phones.<br />
8 years of daydreams and shared dreams.<br />
8 years of holidays that still don't add up to traditions.<br />
8 years of toting around my second bedroom of books.<br />
8 years of mayo versus no mayo.<br />
8 years of adam scott sightings.<br />
8 years of kissing goodbye with chapped morning lips.<br />
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these are not the things i dreamed of, before i married j at the tender age of 25. well, not entirely.<br />
i did dream of someone to hold my umbrella for me. but i think that's where my understanding of marriage stopped. i'm guessing that i'm not alone, and that many people, when they get married, are shocked to discover that the rom-com marriages they signed up for do not, in reality, exist. at least, i'm hoping i'm not alone. ;)<br />
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it is our tradition (although i'm not sure j realizes this;) to decide on our anniversary every year whether we will continue to make a go of it. whether we will renew our "contract" for another year. ha! that's a joke, of course...mostly. ;) but you'll be so glad to know that we have indeed decided to embark on this ninth year of marriage. at times it has felt like we've been coming out of valley upon valley for the last 8 years of marriage, but every year our understandings of ourselves, each other, and our marriage, seems to mature a little bit more, and suddenly here we are, 8 years in!<br />
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after these (really very few) years of marriage (and many many valleys;), i have come to believe that like all the other worthwhile things in human life, marriage is hard but worth it. it doesn't always feel like it, to be sure. there have been many moments in the past where it did not feel worth it, and i wanted to throw in the towel and run away. i really, really did. and, i'm sure there will be moments in the future where i feel the same way.<br />
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slowly i have been learning that what makes marriage special and worth it are not the things i imagined before i was married. it is not the flowers on valentine's day, or the perfect beach vacations, or the into the wee-hours of the morning heart-to-heart talks, or the always knowing what the other needs, or the leisurely weekend brunches that make marriage special. although, yes, those can be wonderful perks when and if they come, they are not, ultimately, what makes it all worth it.<br />
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it is worth it to love. to fail in love. to look for love. to learn to love. to watch love grow.<br />
it is worth it to be willing to join your life to someone who is often a relative stranger in the beginning, to build a life with that person who perhaps you eventually realize you can't love like you thought you could, to accept the pain of compromise on behalf of this world you've built, to at times set aside your own desires, expectations, and feelings to take care of someone else's, to create a family whose needs supersede your own, and to be fulfilled in what you give, not in what is given.<br />
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i don't pretend to know the secrets of marriage. and the extent to which my love falls short of the task of marriage is tragic. and yet. i do believe marriage is worth it. i do believe it is special. and i do believe i am learning. so despite only just barely figuring out that marriage is not what i thought it was, here is something worth writing about: i'm honestly excited to spend the next however many years we have discovering all the things that make marriage worth it.<br />
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happy 8 years, mr. loverboy! thank you for loving me through all of it. <3<br />
<br />B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-82653743527293850812016-06-03T05:00:00.000-07:002016-06-03T05:00:09.321-07:00memorial day strawberry picking<br /><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27346832696/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_5778_web"><img alt="IMG_5778_web" height="1000" src="https://c1.staticflickr.com/8/7374/27346832696_324a2ca07f_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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on memorial day we decided to go strawberry picking. at first j was like "but we've already done that," because he doesn't understand the need to do things like that every year ;) and admittedly, it was a little late in the season/day to strawberry pick, and we were all melting by the end of it. but now that we have a nice juicy basket of strawberries in the fridge (recipes please??!!!) and all these sweet photos, i'm so glad we did it! definitely something i want to do every year! i remember picking blackberries growing up every year, and i loved it! i think once the kids are old enough to actually like the picking process it will be even more fun! also, the place where we go near athens has started to have blackberry picking too, which is exciting. after hurriedly filling our basket before the kids got cranky, we shared a homemade strawberry ice cream and then took some photos in the blackberry patch....i'm not sure why. i think we were thinking it would be shaded?? i plopped evie down with our basket of strawberries and she and wilder were so content to cram strawberries in their faces they didn't even run off, as usual, so i got a few really sweet photos of them. and i LOVE the ones that j got of me with them....such great photos! :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">haha he was totally not feeling my instructions to "show me your strawberry! no look at me!" ;)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bliss. although i think i'm not the only one who realizes that ice cream is better when it's cold outside, not when it's hot and you're all thirsty and stuff. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">admiring the blackberry bushes</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">a bucket of strawberries for me?!?! :D </td></tr>
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<br />B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-63611281852846957532016-06-01T05:00:00.000-07:002016-06-01T05:54:57.806-07:00hilton head, part 4 (mornings on the beach with the kids)<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27278061556/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_5631_web"><img alt="IMG_5631_web" height="1000" src="https://c5.staticflickr.com/8/7391/27278061556_2f5b2e9ef2_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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so i took a lot of photos while we were at the beach, and i hope no one is bored of beach photos, because there are a lot of photos in this one, but i promise it is the last! haha not sure why i feel the need to promise that, but there you go. we had so much fun on this beach trip, and we really packed a lot into our three full days there. it seems like every trip we take we are kicking ourselves for not planning one more day/night than we think we need because inevitably, the trip always feels way too short. but even though we would have loved another day, every single day was completely maximized, helped in no small part by the fact that every day at nap time grandma and grandpa (my in-laws) stayed at the beach house while the three littles napped (even wilder!) and we got to go back to the beach sans kiddos! this made a huge difference in our beach time! as anyone with little kids knows, when you go somewhere with your kids, it is always mostly about them and their needs (as it should be) and so getting to have two full hours every afternoon to ourselves where we got to lay around and talk/read/explore was amazing! it really felt like we were there for much longer than 3 days.<br />
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here are some of the photos i took of our three mornings on the beach with the kids, chasing them around with my big camera, haha. they really had a great time flying kites, building sand castles (and destroying them), getting buried in the sand (and eating the sand), running around, collecting shells and drawing with sticks in the sand, and i had an even better time watching them have so much fun. :) we also hit up a splashpad that was a short walk from our beach house on our last morning, and again, evie mainly had a blast running around. it was pretty hilarious my trying to take pictures while simultaneously trying to herd her back towards the group and away from the street, etc. her energy was truly a thing to behold. ;P<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the happiest girl alive!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">grandpa is king of the drizzle sand castles! w was not thrilled about evie knocking it down haha.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sampling the sandy water...naturally...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">flying a kite! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">you can never have too many sticks. ;)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">she kept trying to sit inside the holes they dug for building sand castles so j finally dug her a hole of her own. so happy. haha!</td></tr>
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27278061366/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_5641_web"><img alt="IMG_5641_web" height="1000" src="https://c7.staticflickr.com/8/7628/27278061366_030abe6e01_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the cutest little man ever!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">he was over the beach by the third day, ha! takes after his papa;) </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27241963221/in/dateposted/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="IMG_5584_web"><img alt="IMG_5584_web" height="2250" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/8/7393/27241963221_d8004c47df_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">how does my baby suddenly look so old?!?!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">cute cousin Beau!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">that tongue kills me! also, this kid's instincts clearly leave something to be desired...yes, let's see what happens when we stick our fingers in this hole...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">see what i mean about the running? </td></tr>
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bye bye beach! until next time!B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-78560076269373036362016-05-31T11:19:00.000-07:002016-05-31T11:19:18.588-07:00hilton head, part 3 (family photos)<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27213630522/in/photostream/" title="IMG_4601_web"><img alt="IMG_4601_web" height="1000" src="https://c3.staticflickr.com/8/7710/27213630522_cf72d9c648_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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i am so excited about these family photos we took on the beach just before sunset one day. we were really trying hard to capture that golden light on the beach during magic hour for these, and i think they came out so beautifully! j's sister jamie took these photos of the four of us, and i love them so much! taking a family photo has been on my list of things to do this year, and i'm so glad we got such amazing ones! and bonus, we all have a tan! ;) i think the only photos we are missing are more of wilder and evie together (hard to do when evie wants to run as soon as she's put down!) and some of just wilder and i together (not a one?!). but so many good ones! also, major props to j for the awesome photos he took of me and the kids. i can't even tell you how much i love them.<br />
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<br />B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-2168727238600237702016-05-27T05:00:00.000-07:002016-05-31T11:25:59.456-07:00hilton head, part 2 (a sunrise)<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27242106156/in/photostream/" title="IMG_5344_web"><img alt="IMG_5344_web" height="1000" src="https://c5.staticflickr.com/8/7115/27242106156_656f439c9a_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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on our last full day at the beach, we woke up before dawn so we could sneak out and watch the sunrise. since wilder was sleeping in our room (the sleep situation is always the hardest part of vacationing with kids, isn't it?!), we woke him up, pulled a jacket over his pjs and brought him out, too. he was so happy to be included, and it was great that we got to take him with us on a little adventure. after we watched the sunrise, we went back to get evie up and brought them back to the beach for a few photos. we were really trying to hit that golden hour, but were just a tiny bit too late to get the perfect lighting. it was still pretty magical, and evie was in HEAVEN. that girl. i swear she is part sea creature! i first tried to set up one of those sweet little sibling photos but evie felt a little strangled (and held back;), so we quickly ditched that attempt and let them roam around free while we scurried after them, trying to make sure no one fell in the water. i love the series of evie running from her papa. she loves to be chased. mostly she loves to get away though. ;) i wished we could have done this every morning, but we are sooo not morning people. maybe by next year we will be! haha, a girl can dream right? i love these photos so much.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">wilder bonded with his uncle gordon this trip, especially after uncle gordon took him to get a star wars sticker! def highlight of w's trip!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i feel so bad that i didn't get nearly as many photos of wilder as evie, because i was constantly having to run to keep her from running straight into the ocean! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">wilder and evienne's cousin beau! he loved the beach too:) </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">running from papa! hahaha</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this is evie. complete wild baby and loving her freedom! :D</td></tr>
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<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5550085674957689333.post-1385697373428863252016-05-26T05:00:00.000-07:002016-05-31T11:26:10.759-07:00hilton head beaaaaaaach!, part 1 (first look)<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177383801/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4138_web"><img alt="IMG_4138_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7436/27177383801_66c3bb42c0_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
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last friday we headed out to hilton head island in south carolina for a little beach vacation. we rented a beach house with j's parents, sister, brother-in-law, and their little boy Beau who is just five days older than Evie! we had the best time! our beach house was just a five minute walk to the beach, and the beach was absolutely perfect! also, may is THE time to go to the beach, especially if you have little kids, because the rates are better and the weather while we were there was perfect! we never got too hot and the sun wasn't as intense as it is in july.<br />
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we arrived at our beach house around 4:30 on friday and after getting settled into the house, walked the kids down to the beach for a quick little toe-dip. evie's face when she saw the beach was amazing! she was a little out of her mind with giddiness the entire trip, but i love that i captured that first look at the ocean in the photo down below. doesn't she look completely ecstatic? haha. this little girl was a complete wild thing! if i hadn't held her back every day, i have no doubt she would have dove straight into that water! her favorite part was just getting to walk and walk and walk with all the open ground. freedom!!! haha. she is our little free spirit. ;)<br />
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also, it is so hard for me to believe that the last time we were at the beach was two years ago and wilder was evienne's age! i cannot believe how fast time has gone! and how big my little boy is! he seemed so much older to me at the time, but nope! in fact he was still nursing! so weird!<br />
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177386231/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4120_web"><img alt="IMG_4120_web" height="1000" src="https://c8.staticflickr.com/8/7317/27177386231_6cfd4638ac_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177385761/in/photostream/" title="IMG_4122_web"><img alt="IMG_4122_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7653/27177385761_906caaae3a_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177385091/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4125_web"><img alt="IMG_4125_web" height="1000" src="https://c4.staticflickr.com/8/7212/27177385091_8b3bcfdb10_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177386541/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4119_web"><img alt="IMG_4119_web" height="1000" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/8/7406/27177386541_f03c7b6fe7_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177389241/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4091_web"><img alt="IMG_4091_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7299/27177389241_a2661bbb4b_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177388081/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4105_web"><img alt="IMG_4105_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7115/27177388081_7ddfab89c5_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177388721/in/photostream/" title="IMG_4098_web"><img alt="IMG_4098_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7376/27177388721_7b5a2034b9_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177389011/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4094_web"><img alt="IMG_4094_web" height="1000" src="https://c4.staticflickr.com/8/7531/27177389011_f8d376ac52_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177387681/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4107_web"><img alt="IMG_4107_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7284/27177387681_19d32ea99c_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177387371/in/photostream/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="IMG_4110_web"><img alt="IMG_4110_web" height="1000" src="https://c4.staticflickr.com/8/7409/27177387371_3559c20868_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this face!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177387171/in/photostream/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="IMG_4113_web"><img alt="IMG_4113_web" height="1000" src="https://c4.staticflickr.com/8/7086/27177387171_16517a60c6_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and this! her happiness is contagious:)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177382601/in/dateposted/" title="IMG_4149_web"><img alt="IMG_4149_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7268/27177382601_e21c414435_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177383061/in/photostream/" title="IMG_4148_web"><img alt="IMG_4148_web" height="1000" src="https://c6.staticflickr.com/8/7751/27177383061_f3ed1006c4_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><br />
<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/71212901@N07/27177383561/in/photostream/" title="IMG_4142_web"><img alt="IMG_4142_web" height="1000" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7430/27177383561_17d569fe5e_o.jpg" width="1500" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10420377377859515581noreply@blogger.com0