photos of birthday weekend continue...

...with a picnic! i've been wanting to get this little man outside somewhere verdant and breezy where he could stare up at the blue sky and feel sunshine on his fingertips and inhale the carefully curated oxygen of urban greenery. and so, on saturday, to continue my non-birthdate birthday festivities, we betook ourselves to a park with a very simple picnic of quiche, salad, watermelon and chocolate cake. in other words, all you really need to be happy.

we had planned to go to piedmont park, but got sidetracked and found ourselves pulling off at a park along ponce de leon. it was perfect, really. no parking issues, no long trek to the perfect green spot. genius. it was almost like the best of summer and my birthday, at once (and neither actually). so confusing, right? still, a perfectly adequate way to spend an afternoon. ;)

beautiful boys.

he loves standing.

this salad dressing was the extent of my cooking over the weekend and it was glorious. 

the salad dressing was only okay. 

they really dote on him. it makes me happy.

dark chocolate cake by grandma. so yummy!

i'm pretty sure that wilder had the most fun, getting tickles and snuggles from grandpa.

birthday palooza

one's 31st birthday is not complete, in my opinion, without the eating of much yummy foods. and so that is what we did. on friday, i commenced my birthday early with brunch out with friends sans bebe. loverboy was super duper and took the day off friday so i could go out and have some alone time.  it was nice and also a little weird. i suddenly had an identity crisis. loverboy says that's what happens when you live in lilburn. so, right, moving soon is on on my to-do list. just kidding.

but the food. oh the food! that is what birthdays are really about, right?

for some reason we actually celebrated my birthday on saturday instead of sunday. i have no idea why. it was probably my stupid idea. but at least, i got some extra good meals out of it!

our sweet night owl got us up before six, so we decided to go have breakfast at cakes & ale's bakery, which i've been dying to try out. and it did not disappoint.

i haven't had a cronut, but i'm willing to bet this kouign-amann could stand up to it. yeah. i'll be back.

xx,

so-old-now B ;)

searching for the sun at 29 + goodbye to 30

when i was 29 a friend told me that the sun was not in a good place in my horoscopian sky, which was her way of explaining (mostly jokingly) why things weren't going so well for me at the time. i'm half chinese, and so i kind of love to hear ridiculous superstitions like that. it was hugely comforting, for no apparent reason. it took the pressure off. or maybe, it was just an acknowledgement, one which i'd had a hard time making—that life sucked. had been sucking.

it was nice for me to finally say, this right here? this is no good. this is very bad. sometimes it takes an astrological explanation to be able to finally accept: i'm sad.

i was on the verge of many things, in the middle of many things. not many of those things felt good at the time — married, without children, armed with an expensive mfa degree that i wasn't entirely sure how i was going to use (or pay back). i was also coming off the hormonal roller coaster of a miscarriage and a six year stint of teeth-gritted nongrieving. i fought the grieving hard. i simply didn't (don't) know how to do it. 

last year on my birthday, i wrote about how hard my twenties had been. for most of it, i felt like i was groping in the dark. wherever it was, my proverbial sun was elusive. it was a season of winter and major SADness was going on. i was happy and sad to see it go at the same time. 

but even though i was mourning my twenties, i predicted that 30 was going to be a fantastic year. and you know what? i didn't even know the half.

having wilder was the best birthday gift ever. i am so thankful for this family. even when they drive me crazy and exhaust me, and i really need a day off (thanks loverboy for letting me take friday off!).

this year has been so full. of moving and birthing and keeping a baby alive. of snuggles and laundry and painting and donuts and fussies and bouncing and drool. and most of all, of love.

so, thanks 30. you really were a fantastic year.