Thursday, April 25, 2013

third week and an update of sorts

yesterday i left Wilder for the first time to go to an appointment. it was truly strange to be away from him (and probably no one this sleep deprived should be driving), even though two weeks ago i didn't even know what he looked like. now that he's out, he feels even more like an extension of my own body (literally, he is perpetually stuck to my boobs). i don't fully understand or grasp this new world i've entered, but i know it's love. i can't believe that he exists and that i get to be his mama. and at the same time, it feels completely natural to hold him. like he's always been here. it's head-spinning, unbelievable, terrifying, overwhelming and completely wonderful. there are no words for it really. thank goodness our wonderful friend missy instagrammed a photo of him while i was enduring two hours in the orthodontist chair. i was aching to see his little expressive face so badly that i couldn't stop staring at his photo. when you've got a precious, hungry newborn at home the last thing you want to do is spend hours with someone's hands in your mouth.

tuesday was our first day alone as papa went back to work, and it was a bit of a challenge. but i feel strangely less stressed out than normal. maybe it's all the oxytocin running around in my system, or maybe it's that i've fallen completely in love with this tiny human being. whatever it is, it's great. but i wouldn't mind a little more sleep. every night it hits me as i'm waking up for feedings every two hours or so that i should be trying to get more sleep during the day when he's sleeping. but it's so hard to do in the daylight when i'm sitting on the couch staring at his sweet face, and i forget how sleep deprived i am. i've only recently given in to sleep enough during the night to stop jerking awake at every single twitch to check on him. that is also hard not to do. basically, i will be pretty happy to spend the next couple of weeks doing nothing but spending every waking moment with this babe. oh, and packing too. yes, we are moving into a house in three weeks. did i tell you i like to make major life changes all together? it's a specialty. we'll talk about it later.

for now, off to feed a hungry bear.


  1. Wow. I enjoy this description of what it's like to be a mom. Thanks for sharing it.

  2. beautiful. i was smiling the whole time. xoxo

  3. You really do describe perfectly what it's like to have a baby join your is so wondeful. So happy for you - wish you had a like button :).