Thursday, May 30, 2013

brother gets married

two weekends ago, my little brother got married. i can't believe he's a married man! we were so happy we got to be with them on their big day and see all our austin friends and family. it doesn't matter how long it's been (and it's always been too long), they are always home to me.

the wedding was so lovely (even if i had to step out at the very beginning of the ceremony to feed my fussy little man) and his bride was so beautiful. my brother is such a special man, and i'm so proud and happy for him. i wish i could have seen more of their wedding and spent more time with them, but i guess they'll just have to make a trip out here to see us soon (hint hint;)! welcome to the family, laurel! i love you both.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

austin, our austin, all hail the {muggy} city

so, i will write something about this in the next post (in my sleep tonight), but thought i should break up all these photos into two posts. here's a few snippets of our wonderful, whirlwind weekend in austin with some much loved, much missed friends and family and taking in the austin sites. also, since when did austin become such a trendy food-lover's heaven? seriously, things are getting crazy in that town. we need to get back before it gets out of control...

and speaking of out of control, the humidity was what was up! i really didn't remember it so clearly. it was like being in a beachtown! i guess atlanta gets super humid, but i would say it's more of a wet humidity here compared with a dry humidity in austin...which makes no sense but just go with it. maybe it's because there was a dry wind?

one sad thing: only getting one photo with the couple, and not even on their wedding day. i was lucky to see Laurel in her dress, that's how crazy the wedding was for me with a babe who had had enough of traveling and seeing people by monday. but loverboy taped it and there were a few friends on hand to hold the baby while i snuck a bite of my lunch and got to see the couple tell their story. they are pretty adorable.

and one last note, before i go write the really brilliant thoughts in bed — thought i was catching a cold on the last night and it turns out i may have allergies for the first time ever. say it isn't so. :/

my brother and his beautiful bride-to-be at their rehearsal dinner. aren't they cute?

brother with aunt cathy and baby calleigh. nom nom.

wilder slept through the whole dinner -- and then didn't sleep through the night!

our only photo with the couple

me and wileybear

the cutest worried little face

 tea at my aunt's is the best thing ever

 as are these homemade scones by my cousin jessica

cousins! minus nine;) 
i do, i do

jumbles from a sleepless mind

i was going to write a longer post about going to Austin for my brother's wedding last weekend, but then my baby shrieked to remind me that he wasn't in my arms. true confession: i wrote that last sentence in bed last night as i was trying to fall asleep before Wilder woke up to be fed again. i thought about getting out of bed to actually write it down so i wouldn't forget it because it really seemed brilliant  at the time, but then i must have fallen asleep. and then i really did forget the brilliance that followed it. but let me assure you, it was genius. seriously, all my best thoughts come when i'm falling asleep. which i always seem to be doing lately. or else thinking about doing.

anyways, these are the things that have been happening while i've been thinking about sleep or sleeping or holding my gosh-darnit-so-cute-but-why-dont-you-sleep-on-your-own baby:

1. moving. did i mention that? i probably wrote about it in my sleep.
2. taking our 5.5-week-old on his first plane ride to Austin. it's more fun on other people's instagrams.
3. showering once a week. just don't think about it too much, i don't;)
4. buying some grown-up furniture.
5. trying to sneak in trips to target. baby really hates target. just wait till he meets the walmart down the road!
6. cosleeping. yes, it's happening (not all night and not every night, thankfully!). it's called ill-do-anything-for-sleep-itis. i get it now.
7. lots of snuggles and singing and bouncing for wilder. lots of mini donuts and coffee for mom.
8. learning that if i don't get up before the baby, there's a good chance i won't get out of my pajamas all day long. see number 3.
9. eye contact and smiles from my baby which makes my heart melt.
10. a few real meltdowns, because let's be honest, all of this #everythingatonce stuff is hard. but at least one of these things is worth it;)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

on motherhood (so far)

over the past 3.5 weeks i've come to the conclusion that having kids seems so normal until it happens to you. and then it's this crazy, surreal, magic mountain roller coaster ride of your life. all the peeing and pooping and nursing (let's talk about that pain for a second shall we? ouch!) and bouncing and's just nuts! not to mention the way these tiny people just absolutely take your heart and swallow it whole. i've never even heard this little man say hello to me (but his little squeaks and squeals sort of sound like hello sometimes) and yet, he's a regular casanova over here. heart stealer, love of my life. it's serious. in the words of PapaBear: i could just live inside his mouth. cause it's so dang adorable.

and so i've realized, this is a real club i've joined. like in What to Expect When You're Expecting — isn't that just the best movie ever? and not just because it's on netflix and i'm glued to the couch with no free arms for all hours of the day (and night). i mean, the Dudes Club? i totally get it now. you've never really loved until you've wiped someone's butt. although i'm pretty sure i loved wilder before i wiped his butt (30 million times). and once you've wiped their butt, you've pretty much handed over your heart and soul for all eternity. oh, and your body.

this is the Prime Meridian of life right now. there is no time. there is no sleep. there is no shower. there is no cleaning the house. there is just boobs, pee, poop, boobs, burp, sleep, boobs, cry, poop, boobs. and maybe some instagramming;)

as i was watching loverboy colic-hold wilder last night (and the night before and the night before...) during a four hour nursing/crying marathon, i realized that even though the hardness of all this might make me cry tears, i am happier taking care of this little guy than i would be doing anything else. this is a hard that i cherish. even when i'm wishing for a magic pill to make things easier, i am still ecstatic to be here. i am happy. i am in love. it's impossible to adequately put words to this experience (though i'm obviously trying). it is a dream. it is a cream puff of a dream. a trip to paris, a pain au chocolat avec un cafè in bed, baskets of puppies, miniature donkeys on a farm, tea parties with my family, sunsets on the beach, candlelit bubble baths, fields of pale pink ranunculus, rain on a summer afternoon, dancing at midnight on cobblestone streets kind of dream. but better. it is the poopiest, burpiest, milkiest, sleepiest, fussiest dream of a dream to end all dreams dream. if that doesn't explain it i don't know what will.

sometimes i think it will be so great when wilder is six weeks old, when hopefully we have some of the kinks and fusses worked out. but most of the time, i think i could bounce on this medicine ball, listening to frère jacques on repeat, holding 8 pounds of pure fussy bliss (and holding my bladder)  for the next 6 years and be completely happy.