letting go

last weekend of summer break.

i concentrated really hard on enjoying myself

this weekend and disregarding all the little thoughts

about what i should be doing and how i wasn't

being productive enough and that sort. 

i find it's really an exercise to let go of worry

and anxiety and to enjoy the days for whatever

they are — i have a really hard time letting go of

my desire to control each day, to make it the day

that it "should" be, to work things out. it's not 

that i always want to be working. it's just that

i even have an idea of what needs to happen

for it to be a "good" day. and i've been realizing

that i actually have no idea what that means. 

i'm realizing that happiness is a state of being, 

not an outward circumstance or thing or experience.

yes, i have many duh moments in my life. 

so, this weekend i enjoyed: 

1. a movie date with jazz

2. salads with fruit

3. opening the blinds to see the thunderstorms

4. turning disagreements into laughter

5. sunday afternoon naptime

6. watching too much netflix

7. running, feel the burn

8. arguing about what our family traditions "will be"

9. laundry and other mundane chores

10. cereal for dinner

here's to starting the summer off right!