our little nights at home

going to bed early has been one of the good things about this week. sometimes it's nice to just check out early. and okay, maybe we're reading or looking at the computer, but at least we're together, and it's made our bedtimes feel so cozy. i must remember these days of just me and him, and this small little house and our dog on the floor there, who won't get on the bed despite all our pleading and coaxing, who we put up here next to us just last night and who immediately sunk down on top of jazz, all four paws splayed out and panting as soon as he found himself up here, because he's afraid he'll fall off our not-two-feet-off-the-ground bed, and who got off as soon as we turned the lights out and went to sleep in the living room, because obviously we were trying to do him cruel harm. he's our funny bunny lars.

i must remember these nights with our old-fashioned target fan and little dorrit on pbs and jazz laughing at silly videos he finds on youtube and interrupting my book to tell me about them in our third rental in our third march (almost spring!) in atlanta and also how when we drive around now we think about how used to living here we are now and how beautiful the cherry blossoms are at this time of the year and how it almost feels like summertime. and how we have some real friends here now, friends that we prayed hard for, that we're still getting to know, but who help make it feel like home.

even these are good nights. 

Yangyang Pan