my baby hates the suburbs

this is how my baby likes his days: 3 parts nap to 8 parts boobs with a dash of itsy bitsy spider and a swig of coke. but the coke is for mom. i have the giantest sweet tooth right now and it mainly requires coke and donuts. since when do i like soda?

since i moved to suburbia, that's when.

recently i've discovered that wilder is not a fan of the 'burbs.

lately, he's been doing this great thing where he wakes up and lays in his bassinet quietly, looking sideways at us through the bars like we're some strange animals in a zoo. it's pretty great. i like to think he's just taking in the scene, waiting for us to wake up. 

so, wednesday i thought i'd get out of the house (and my pajamas) for the first time this week, because i checked the calendar and hey! my baby is now 11 weeks old. he must be ready to see some sights in this suburb we call lilburn, was my thought. plus i had errands to run.

i decided to wait till his long awake period, around 4 p.m. 

he woke up from his first nap for some strenuous lung exercises after an hour which wasn't a good sign, because that first nap usually predicts the way the rest of the day will go. but still, an hour isn't bad. so then i laid him down for the second with an extra kiss. 

and then! during the second nap, he woke up with a real bee in his bonnet (no, not a real bee, although we do have every single other vermin on this good earth chomping at our doorstep). well, this wasn't the best sign. so i gave him one of his favorite things (boobs) and one of his least favorite things (burping), and after awhile he seemed ready to try for the last nap.

this time i sat motionless on the couch holding my breath, praying he would stay asleep and also wearing headphones so i could watch the latest episode of The Bachelorette (i am so addicted to this show. it's awful. i love it.). lo and behold it did the trick! he stayed asleep for two whole hours! miracle!

with the success swelling my head, i proceeded to lock him into his car seat (probably in the top three of things he likes not at all) for my errand run. the baby has an aversion to errands ever since we moved to lilburn and the next day mama brought him to target to buy some diapers. target! in the suburbs! the injustice!

imagine his surprise when i took him to walmart. this story just gets better, doesn't it? 

we were trying to get to Bed, Bath & Beyond but Siri led me awry and we ended up at Walmart, where i stocked the cart so full. sometimes i can see why people live in the suburbs. buying great quantities of food (and enough little kid hangers to outfit a whole neighborhood! at least our neighborhood...which is really just one street) is so therapeutic. 

by this point, i was really feeling our little outing. i started getting crazy thoughts like: why don't i do this more often? maybe i'll start leaving the house every day! who knows! maybe baby will love it! exclamation marks are essential when you're thinking crazy. 

but once we finally got back on the road, we hit traffic. i thought the reason people move farther from the city was to get away from the crowds, but apparently the crowds all had the same idea. by this time, the Wilder baby had really had enough, and we spent the rest of the ride competing to see who was loudest. 

baby won.

it looked a little like this: