Tuesday, September 17, 2013

screens are ruining my life aka meet my sister wife


"what did you think about today?" loverboy asked me, curling his toes up to my shins, his breath tickling my ear.

when i thought about it later, i realized this would have been a really lovely question, the kind i always think that i never get asked—thoughts i think while putting the back of my hand to my forehead and wilting on the sofa, moaning dramatically about how overlooked i am, of course.

and it would have been a really promising question, if it had been asked during our date night, or at some other time when i wasn't already doing something else (is it just me or is being female sort of like being hans solo's falcon in star wars? finicky as all get out? hold your head high, you are a woman!).

we were watching our movie-night movie for the second night in a row, because i really wanted to do something on my laptop, and i thought we could spend time together at the same time. (multitasking, thy name is she-devil! but more on that later!)

but then of course, he turns to me in the middle of it and pulls me close (neverminding that i have a computer on my lap) and asks me about my day. of course i distractedly gave him a rundown of cleaning and errand-running and how we need more dog food. or something like that.

at any other time i would have thrilled at such a question. (isn't that the way things go? our timing is always off.) but couldn't he see i was in the middle of something? why was the moment my attention was focused on something else always the moment he decided would be a good time to finally talk?

so i waved him off and kept on staring at my screen(s). of course i kept thinking about it—the words "what did i think about today? what did i think about today?" chasing around in my head like small dog. it was an interesting question. i love interesting questions. what did i think about? how could i turn this opener into a really-truly-full-blown conversation?

well, i'll never know because i was too busy plugged into my screen.

my friend gracie blogged last week about a conversation we had via text concerning our husband's candy crush addiction. the other wife, as i call it. i'm not a polygamist, but i have a sister wife. she inhabits many forms, and she is my loverboy's favorite wife.

so then, the next day i emailed him this article (oh the irony, don't i know), to which he replied "great article."

that evening i fell asleep as loverboy played candy crush under the covers next to me.

if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, says gracie. well, i've tried, but i just can't get past level 65.

p.s. i'm sure there's a message in here about the secret to not ruining your marriage is by responding to your husband's verbal advances, but i can't be sure. candy crush has rotted my brain.

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