Thursday, March 7, 2013

slowing down

is there anything better than tea and scones and a cozy house in the afternoons? i really don't think so. well, maybe. but in my personal universe at the moment, this is like a dream. my boss gave us all a few days off this week and like a two-year-old with a major sweet tooth in a candy store with no parents. this is the first week in a while that i've actually felt like a normal person. for the last five months, work has had me so stressed out and exhausted that it's all i can do to get food in my belly and clothes in the wash before my super early bedtime. it turns out i'm incapable of running on less than 8.5 hours of sleep. 9 is better but only if you want no life outside of work. 

so, this week, just having time to sit and think has been blissful. and, oh gosh! are we really about to have a baby? that thought has been coming up a lot too. i'm sort of still in complete shock about it all. really? a baby? i guess i've been so wrapped up in making it through these last 5 months at a new job that it hasn't quite sunk in that we're going to have a child. tell me that's normal??  

it's easy to buy things and move furniture and go to birth classes and squint/grimace at birth videos and drink your spinach every morning. i mean, mostly it's easy. but, imagining a child in here? imagining what it will be like to bring our baby home and know that it's all our responsibility? imagining waking up to this baby every day for like ever? imagining loving them more than i can possibly imagine? it's mind-blowing is what it is. (as is imagining pushing it out of my own body!). 

but you know what? i'm glad i can't really imagine it, because this way it will all be new and wonderfully real when it happens. 

and i'm so excited.

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