Wednesday, June 12, 2013

five years

upon the eve of the fifth anniversary of our young and tender nuptials, we went to our friday night small group with our baby in the suburbs of atlanta. the in-laws were there. as were a few other friends. it wasn't about us. it was about the last meeting of our small group because some of our members are moving. we ended the night with a five-second, whispered tête-à-tête in the bathroom before bed. you know, so as not to wake the baby. (and no, that is not innuendo for something else. gee whiz!) something about — we've made it this far, let's give it another go. so, as anniversaries go, it was obviously quite the big deal. i even bought a card - and then didn't have time to write anything in it.

but come on! five years! that deserves some kind of acclamation! traditionally, we do not give each other gifts for our anniversary. i'm not sure who started that. i guess we agreed by tacit consent in the way of not getting each other gifts our first year. i'm pretty sure we spent the money on sushi instead. but according to the internet, i could have scored something wooden this year. or some silverware, because, you know, that's similar. so now i know where things went wrong. i should never have allowed us to be traditionally untraditional. i could have been getting gifts all this time! who comes up with these traditions anyways? i also sure wish i'd known about this before tonight because i could really use some better silverware. but if we can make it another five years, it appears i might be in for some tin. which...better not end in foil, if you're reading this husband. the internet also says instead of tin you can give me diamonds. (what?? i'll take it!)

so. five years. another thing that's hard to believe.

let me tell you a story:

we have the antitestimony to the picture perfect marriage. maybe you don't know that because you've only seen us through this blog, but the truth is, it isn't always pretty. i can be mean and ornery and it turns out i'm the most impatient person in the whole world. yes, it's true. probably loverboy should get a medal or something for sticking with me this far. i won't say "and vice versa" because that'd be mean and because then i probably wouldn't qualify for a medal. man, so many rules.

speaking of rules, we're really bad at following them. for instance, the date night rule. we've never had a standing date night. and here's the truth on that: our date nights do not hardly ever never go as planned. they subscribe to the bat from Anastasia rule on a regular basis — tell me that's your favorite line too? i mean, really good date nights are sort of like a unicorn. if we've planned something in advance, i guarantee you it will only end in tears.

what i've learned about marriage is that it's real challenging. we are (i am) selfish and intolerant, not to mention flawed as all get out. and darnitall, it's hard to love those flaws. that is why i'm so thankful to know a God who is love. only God could love us human beings enough to keep us around, save us and want to live inside of us. and only with His love can we really love each other. i mean, really.

over the past few days i've been considering what these five years have been and what lies in store for us, and praying for that kind of love to fill up my love. i want Jason to feel really, really loved. not just for a moment or a nice date night. i want a love that is kind, patient, does not seek its own things...a love that never falls away. otherwise i might not get any tin. i mean, obviously that's the incentive.

and because this post is already long and sort of rambling and also not smushy enough, let's end on a love note:

dear loverboy,

i love your goofiness. even when it annoys me. i love the way you talk to our baby son - and the father you are. i love the terribly silly way you dance, because i know it means you are comfortable with me. i love holding your hand. i love that you've been going to work early so you can come home earlier to us. i love your mix tapes. i love the intense way you talk about your topics. even when i zone out (sorry!). i love your fix-it-manliness. and i think you're pretty sexy. you are the sunshine to my moon. the burger to my fries. the sauce to my spaghetti. the cheese to my whine;) let's never fight again and live happily ever after.



  1. "Cheese to my whine!" -- I love it! The end of your letter to loverboy reminds me of a children's book that always made me tear up. Too many of our date nights started off on the wrong foot because I'd get stuck in the whole, did you even remember, could you plan ahead so I feel cared about blah blah blah disaster. I'm learning slowly that if I have expectations and hope my mind is read I'm asking for disappointment (duh, he's my husband not my sister!). I either have to spell out my hopes or pep talk myself into being satisfied with the effort ;)

  2. oh Shifrah, you are so encouraging! I seriously sometimes think i'm the only person in the world who thinks/talks that way! and yeah, i'm slowly learning both those things too. :)

  3. The paragraph immediately following "let me tell you a story"....I could have written it verbatim. Especially the bit about patience. Sigh. I'm working on it. We're lucky to have such patient fellas:)

    Happy 5 year Anniversary! It is definitely something to celebrate!! Best wishes for 5 more, and then another 5, and another 5....and on and on:)

  4. Ooookay, and that's the last time I read your posts at work...especially one tear jerker after another. Happy 5 years to you guys!